The date hits my Outlook Calendar faster than you can say “Waikiki Beach.” My friend Ms. Zany, the Queen of the Office Theme Party and her partner-in-crime Mad Me-Shell are at it again. They’ve scheduled the second annual celebration of Hawaiian Shirt Day. If this festive occasion doesn’t ring a bell, you’re not alone. It’s not a Hallmark card holiday. Zany made it up. The corporate dress code gets tossed out the window. The required uniform is a gaudy Hawaiian shirt – the cheaper, the better.We immediately get to work on an authentic Hawaiian menu for the celebration. And, it turns out that “authentic Hawaiian” can be pretty loosely interpreted. We settle for “mainstream Hawaiian” which means lots of pineapple and coconut. Forgive us. It’s the summer. It’s the silly season.
There is a grand tradition here. In the 1950s, faux-Hawaiian was all the rage. It was the era of Trader Vic, shrimp sates and Mai Tais. All one needed was a pineapple and a few toothpicks, and one could embark on an exotic culinary adventure right at home.
Of course, I get the dessert assignment. So I dive headfirst into the Internet to see if I can retrieve a few pearls. I come up with Hawaiian Wedding Cake.
Whether or not Hawaiian Wedding Cake is genuine ethnic food, or was ever served to celebrate nuptials is debatable at best. But, the recipe leaves a blissful trail of crumbs throughout the Internet and has clearly been a longtime favorite for potluck dinners, brunches and church cookbooks. A quick blending of crushed pineapple, shredded coconut and walnuts dressed in cream cheese frosting produces a sweet, textured sheet cake rich with tropical flavors and nutty complexity.There are many variations, some using vanilla pudding, some using Cool Whip, and some that replace the flour with crushed graham crackers. I come up with a 1991 citation for Hawaiian Wedding Cake from the Akron Beacon Journal, and another reference that suggests the original recipe was first published in the magazine Southern Living about a quarter-century ago. Hmmm. That means Hawaiian Wedding Cake could have actually been created in Ohio or Alabama. This gives new meaning to the term “destination wedding.”
It is certainly reflective of the stalwart tradition of convenience cakes. Any recipe that calls for a 20-ounce can of crushed pineapple is surely not from the Jacques Torres School of pastry. I do find a separate Hawaiian wedding connection. There is an authentic Hawaiian dish called Haupia, a coconut-based dessert that is similar to a gelatin and is served in squares. Haupia is also used as a topping for wedding cakes in Hawaii. Perhaps my “suburban-style” Hawaiian Wedding Cake was an attempt of mainlanders to emulate this island tradition, using easily-purchased supermarket staples.
The receptionist does a double take as I march through the lobby in my Ray-Bans and teal-green Hawaiian Shirt covered with white hibiscus. Our Hawaiian Shirt Day banquet is worthy of an island paradise, even if it is spread out in our large conference room. We feast on sweet and piquant Maui Onion Dip and Chips …
Aloha Meatballs, bejeweled with green peppers and maraschino cherries ….
And, Chicken Fruit Salad, glistening with pineapple and rice …
Mad Me-Shell conjures up a SPAM cheese ball, an orb so perfectly round and imposing that it looks like one of the outer planets of the solar system. Perched in a festive lady bug serving dish, the SPAM cheese ball is savory with just a hint of smoke, and reminds me of the luscious deviled sandwich spreads of my childhood.
I know my regular readers may have a hard time seeing “the S-word” in one of my posts. Now, don’t go sending me hate mail or anything. There is some serious culinary history behind Mad Me-Shell’s menu selection. You may not realize that SPAM is a bit of a gastronomic phenomenon in Hawaii. Introduced during the military occupation of World War II, SPAM is still so popular that it is sometimes referred to as “Hawaiian Steak.” Residents of Hawaii consume the most SPAM per capita in the United States. Credit Mad Me-Shell with both authenticity and audacity in her choice of a canapé. 
The banquet concludes with the Hawaiian Wedding Cake, a majestic sea of coconut whitecaps, where glistening maraschino cherries bob gently. Zany and Mad Me-Shell are flush with the excitement of a tropical island holiday. You can almost hear the strains of the ukulele and feel the warm ocean breezes wafting through the conference room. Can the hula girls be far behind?
©2008 T.W. Barritt All Rights Reserved
