The Burger Truck, the Burger Babes and the Great NYC Cattle Roundup

We’ve been tracking the vehicle’s maneuvers on Twitter, but it has remained elusive. Until now.

The celebrated La Cense Beef Burger Truck has been sighted in various midtown neighborhoods, but never our own. It was beginning to sound a little like the legend of Sasquatch. And, it’s been a bit frustrating to read tweets about working stiffs on Park Avenue storming the truck while those of us in the mid-50s have to settle for PB&J.

Then, Zany spots the morning tweet (or should it be a moo?). The Burger Truck will be positioned within a ten minute walk from the office. This day just got so much better!

Zany is elated. She is intoxicated by the thrill of the chase. “We’re on a New York safari,” she says. “We’re on the hunt.”

Mad Me-Shell’s carnivorous instincts are in high gear. Barely have we reached the corner of 58th Street and 8th Avenue and she screams, “There it is!” unable to contain herself.

“I’m like a sniffing police dog,” she admits. “If there’s grilling meat anywhere around, I will smell it.”

The brilliant blue truck looks like a slice of the big Montana sky. It is High Noon, and we approach the window. Brian is at the window, and is quite willing to round out our culinary experience with a few Burger Truck campfire stories.

“What we’re trying to do is raise the awareness of the New York public of natural, 100 percent, grass-fed, Black Angus cattle,” he says. “The best way to market your product is on the streets of Manhattan and if you bring your product straight to the people on the street, you can’t go wrong.”

We’re just glad he picked a good neighborhood.

We’ve heard rumors about how one must eat a La Cense Beef Burger, and we ask Brian to confirm. He tells us the proper etiquette is to consume the burger, just about naked, minus condiments.

“The burger on the bun with the caramelized onions is delicious,” he says. “What you want to taste is the quality of the meat, not the ketchup.”

We carry away our bags filled with three burgers on sesame buns, topped with American cheese and caramelized onions, with pickles on the side. We also make a point of grabbing the “frequent user” cards.

We pick a spot to dine near the fountains of Columbus Circle. “You have to enjoy it in the great outdoors,” says Mad Me-Shell. “You have to be one with the cow.”

We unwrap our burgers and inspect the goods. First impressions matter. “Hurry up and take all your pictures,” urges Zany “There’s not gonna be much left soon.

We succumb.

“It tastes like you’re eating a steak,” says Mad Me-Shell. “I feel like I could saddle up my horse and head back to the paddock after eating this.”

She’s right. The burger is perfectly cooked and tastes almost buttery, with a slight hint of charcoal. The savory and sweet caramelized onions are alarmingly tasty.

I try to calm my racing pulse and make a little polite mealtime conversation. “I feel the rumble of the subway underneath us,” I point out.

“I think that’s your stomach asking for more,” says Mad.

We literally wolf down our burgers. The time is now 12:16 PM. From placing our orders to post-meal gratification, a mere sixteen minutes have elapsed.

“That was good,” murmurs Zany, her voice just a little thick with protein pleasure.

“Can we take a field trip to Montana?” asks Mad.

That kind of says it all.

Zany is now struggling with post-truck food depression. “We’ve got nothing to look forward to,” she moans. “I need adventure.”

She might just get her wish, as I hear that Mad Me-Shell is now tracking a mysterious Schnitzel Truck which will soon take to the streets of Manhattan …

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